The Mortal Manifesto: A Scientific Defense of Our Chaos

Welcome to the Anti-Perfection Fitness Movement

The Mortal Manifesto isn’t just a joke-laden rebellion against the gym gods—it’s a scientifically grounded approach to fitness that actually works for normal people. If you’ve ever quit a workout routine because life got in the way, or if you’ve ever gagged on a protein shake that tasted like drywall, congratulations: you’re mortal. And that’s exactly why this philosophy is designed for you.

The Problem With Perfectionism in Fitness

Modern fitness culture is obsessed with peak optimization, biohacking, and unattainable standards. According to social media, if you’re not drinking a pre-workout that tastes like battery acid at 5 AM, you’re failing. But the science is clear: perfectionism in health is a trap.

What Research Says About Fitness Burnout:

Perfectionism is linked to exercise dropout. A study published in Psychology of Sport and Exercise found that people who set extreme, unrealistic fitness goals were more likely to quit than those who embraced a sustainable approach.

Motivation fades, habits don’t. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, explains that motivation is a limited resource, but small, consistent actions become automatic over time.

“All or nothing” leads to nothing. People who believe they must either go hard or not at all tend to do nothing at all, according to behavior change studies.

So if you’ve ever skipped the gym for a Netflix binge, rest assured—you’re not weak. You’re just wired like a human, not a machine.

The Core Tenets of The Mortal Manifesto (And Why Science Backs Them)

1. Fitness Should Feel Good (Not Like a Punishment)

Ever noticed that gym rats act like exercise is war? Science says that’s a bad strategy.

A 2022 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that people who enjoy their workouts stick with them longer than those who suffer through them.

Movement doesn’t have to be a “workout.” Walking, dancing, or carrying heavy grocery bags all count.

✅ Mortal Manifesto Principle: “Exercise for endorphins, not to earn pizza carbs.”

2. Protein Shakes Shouldn’t Be a Test of Willpower

Why do most protein shakes taste like punishment in liquid form? The industry’s obsession with macros has overshadowed the fact that food should taste good.

Taste affects adherence. A study in Nutrients showed that when protein shakes tasted better, people drank them consistently—which is kind of important for muscle retention.

Texture matters too. Your protein should not be a frothy crime scene.

✅ Mortal Manifesto Principle: “Protein shake chunks are not ‘texture enhancements.’”

3. Routine Beats Motivation Every Time

We all know that motivation comes and goes. That’s why habits matter more.

Studies show that setting a “bare minimum” goal (like 5 minutes of movement) makes you more likely to exercise.

Missing two days in a row? That’s when habits start breaking down.

✅ Mortal Manifesto Principle: “Two days off is a break, three is a lifestyle choice (and not the good kind).”

4. Community Matters More Than Perfection

Studies show that people with social support in their fitness journey are twice as likely to stick with it.

Accountability matters. Even something as small as a text from a friend makes a difference.

Toxic fitness culture makes people quit. The fear of being judged keeps people from starting at all.

✅ Mortal Manifesto Principle: “Celebrate your gains, even if the only six-pack is in your fridge.”

Why The Mortal Manifesto Works (And Why You Should Join Us)

This philosophy isn’t about giving up—it’s about breaking free from unrealistic fitness expectations and embracing a system that actually works long-term.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to suffer. You just have to be consistent enough to make progress.

By choosing sustainability over extremism, you’ll get something better than gym god status: a healthier, happier life—on your own terms.

Welcome to Fitness for Mortals.

Surrender Your Soul

Are you ready to trade impossible standards for actual progress? This sacred(ish) covenant liberates you from the exhausting pursuit of perfection and shows you a sustainable path forward. No divine intervention required.

Make your solemn pledge to renounce gym divinity on the here.

References

Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295-319.

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Penguin.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68.

Nezlek, J. B., & Forestell, C. A. (2020). Determinants of the frequency and enjoyment of exercise: The effects of age, gender, and personality. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 511040.

Stubbs, R. J., et al. (2018). What are the components of energy expenditure and how do they change with weight loss? Obesity Reviews, 19(1), 24-37.

How Much Protein Do You Really Need?

(Especially If You’re Losing Weight)

For decades, protein has been the go-to macronutrient for gym rats, bodybuilders, and anyone looking to pack on muscle. But if you think protein is only about bulging biceps and flexing in the mirror, you’re missing the bigger picture.

Protein isn’t just about growth—it’s about preservation. And for those of us who aren’t looking to win a bodybuilding competition but just want to maintain strength, metabolism, and longevity, getting enough protein is more critical than ever.

RDA vs. Reality: Are You Getting Enough Protein?

The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is 0.8 grams per kilogram of body weight. That’s about 55 grams per day for a 150-pound person—which, frankly, is barely enough to keep you from falling apart, let alone thriving.

Experts like Dr. Peter Attia suggest a more realistic target: 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight (or about 2.2 grams per kilogram). That means:

• A 150-pound person should aim for 150 grams of protein per day.

• A 200-pound person should target 200 grams.

Sound like a lot? It is—but there’s a reason behind it.

Why More Protein is Essential for Weight Loss

Losing weight isn’t just about shedding fat—it’s about keeping muscle while you do it. And here’s the problem: most people lose muscle along with fat when they cut calories.

This is where GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic, Wegovy, and Mounjaro come in. They’ve revolutionized weight loss by reducing appetite and making it easier to stick to a calorie deficit. But there’s a catch: less food means less protein, which means higher risk of muscle loss.

And when you lose muscle, your metabolism slows down, making it harder to maintain weight loss in the long run.

How to Minimize Muscle Loss on GLP-1s (or Any Diet)

• Prioritize Protein – Aim for at least 1 gram per pound of body weight.

• Resistance Training – Lifting weights tells your body, “Hey, we actually need this muscle. Don’t burn it for fuel.”

• Spread It Out – Your body can only use so much protein at once. Shoot for 25-50g per meal instead of one giant protein bomb at the end of the day.

The Biggest Protein Myths (Debunked)

• “Too much protein is bad for your kidneys” – Unless you have pre-existing kidney disease, this is nonsense. Your kidneys will be just fine.

• “Protein will make you bulky” – No, lifting heavy and eating in a calorie surplus will. If anything, protein helps you maintain a leaner physique.

• “You can get enough protein without trying” – The average American diet is carb-heavy and protein-light. If you’re not actively tracking your intake, you’re probably under-consuming protein.

Plan, Prep, and Stay Ahead

Let’s be real—hitting 1g of protein per pound of body weight isn’t easy, especially if you’re on a GLP-1 receptor agonist that’s slashing your appetite. Getting enough protein becomes less about cravings and more about strategy.

There’s no magic fix. It’s a chore. The only way to succeed is to plan ahead. Know when you’re likely to get hungry, and be ready with high-protein options that don’t leave you scrambling for whatever’s closest. Because when hunger finally hits, you don’t want your only option to be a stale granola bar and regret.

The Top 3 Reasons Dieters Fail

(And Why Your Willpower Is as Useful as a Knife at a Gunfight)

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Let’s be real—dieting sucks. You start off strong, meal-prepping like a Michelin-star chef, turning down birthday cake like a disciplined monk, and drinking more water than a dehydrated camel. Then, a few weeks later, you find yourself standing in front of the fridge at 2 AM, halfway through a leftover pizza, wondering where it all went wrong.

Sound familiar?

It’s not you—it’s science (and maybe a little bit you). But mostly science. Let’s break down why most diets fail, so you can finally stop repeating the cycle and start winning the battle against your own snack-loving instincts.

1. You’re Relying on Willpower (Which Is About as Reliable as Your Ex)

Willpower is great… for about 30 minutes. Then reality sets in. Your boss emails you 17 urgent requests, your toddler decides the living room is now a finger-painting studio, and suddenly that plate of cookies you swore you wouldn’t touch is looking at you like an old friend.

The truth?

Willpower is a finite resource. Your brain burns through it like an iPhone battery on 2%—and once it’s gone, you’re at the mercy of your cravings. The solution? Don’t make decisions in the heat of battle.

Instead of trusting yourself to “be good,” set up guardrails:

• Keep tempting foods out of sight (or better yet, out of your house).

• Make meal decisions ahead of time, so you’re not making them when you’re hungry and irrational.

• Lean on habits, not motivation—because habits don’t care if you’re having a bad day.

Think of it this way: You don’t debate whether to brush your teeth every morning. You just do it. Your diet should work the same way. (But please, still brush your teeth.)

2. You’re Eating Like a Bird (And Then Bingeing Like a Starving Wolf at Midnight)

The classic move: Eat a tiny salad for lunch. Feel proud of your self-control. By 8 PM, you’re suddenly eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon like a wild animal that just discovered civilization.

Why does this happen?

Because your body is not stupid. When you restrict calories too aggressively, your brain goes into full-on survival mode. It pumps out hunger hormones, slows your metabolism, and basically holds you hostage until you eat something substantial.

The fix?

Eat enough protein. (Oh hey, we might know a guy.)

Protein helps keep you full, supports your muscle mass (which burns more calories at rest), and most importantly, keeps you from turning into a ravenous goblin by dinnertime.

🚨 PSA: If your diet leaves you so hungry that you’re fantasizing about chewing on your own arm, it’s not a sustainable diet. Adjust accordingly.

3. You’re Trying to Outrun a Bad Diet (Literally)

You ate an entire large pizza? No problem, just jog for six hours and it’s like it never happened!

Right? Wrong.

Exercise is great for your health, but using it as a punishment for eating too much is a one-way ticket to burnout. Plus, your body is annoyingly good at compensating for extra activity by making you hungrier later. You might burn 400 calories on a run, but if that run makes you eat an extra 600 calories later? Yeah, you see the problem.

Instead of chasing calories with cardio, focus on:

• Strength training (hello, muscle mass that burns calories while you do nothing).

• Walking more (yes, it counts).

• Eating like an adult who understands moderation rather than a gremlin playing catch-up after a binge.

Moral of the story?

You can’t out-exercise a bad diet—but you can absolutely out-eat your exercise.

BONUS: Your Caveman Brain Wants You to Eat Like the World Is Ending

Your brain thinks you’re still living in a cave, dodging saber-toothed tigers and foraging for berries. It does NOT understand that Uber Eats exists and will deliver cheesecake to your door in under 30 minutes.

The problem?

Your biology hasn’t updated in 50,000 years. Back then, if you didn’t overeat when food was available, you didn’t survive the next famine. Your brain’s priority is keeping you alive, not keeping you in a calorie deficit for your beach trip.

So when you try to restrict food? Your brain panics. It ramps up cravings for high-calorie foods and slows your metabolism to “save you” from starvation—except now, starvation isn’t the issue. It’s the endless supply of snacks within arm’s reach that’s the problem.

The best way to fight your prehistoric instincts? Don’t fight them at all—work with them.

• Keep protein intake high so hunger doesn’t turn into desperation.

• Build meals around foods that keep you full (fiber, protein, healthy fats).

• Understand that cravings are normal—just don’t let them drive the bus.

Your survival instincts aren’t bad—they’re just outdated. Like trying to use a flip phone in 2025.

So, How Do You Actually Succeed?

You stop playing the willpower game. You eat enough (especially protein). And you quit treating exercise like a debt you have to repay for last night’s dinner.

And if you need a protein that doesn’t taste like wet cement, well… let’s just say we’re working on something ungodly.

Stay tuned and follow the Mortal Manifesto!